Why Men Flex in Mirrors
And the 3 ways to fix your self-esteem so you never take a gym selfie
It’s 3rd down and 5 yards to go.
It’s the third play of the first game of the season.
I line up as a middle linebacker, knowing this year, my junior year, is going to be my year.
The summer was spent gaining 20 pounds of muscle and attending a Division 1 recruiting event.
I was going to land the scholarship.
The quarterback of the opposing team says, “Hike!”
I hear the sound of helmets cracking.
I quickly diagnose what the other team is trying to do and fly straight ahead, crushing the running back for zero yards.
I’m stoked.
But something feels off.
I can’t seem to push off my right foot.
I hobble off the field and wave for someone to take my place.
One week later, the orthopedic surgeon looks at me as I sit on the exam table.
“This is a tough injury,” he says.
My season is over.
Surgery is scheduled.
I limp to my car.
I climb into my 1994 green Toyota Camry and shut the door.
I lay my head on my steering wheel and sob.
But something odd happens moments later.
I drive off, stop at a nearby park, and start doing calculus homework.
No more tears. No more grief. No more shattered dreams.
Just math.
In that moment, I traded cleats for the GPA.
The spirit of Adam was alive and well.
What Happened in the Garden?
Imagine being Adam.
No, really.
God just gives you an entire world to rule over.
You wouldn’t struggle with understanding why you’re here or having a sense of purpose.
Every day would be spent enjoying God and shaping the earth into a beautiful outpost of heaven.
No alarm clock needed.
Life would be rich.
This is how it’s supposed to be.
Men doing work that matters.
It sounds great because God placed this core need in every man:
To do something great.
It’s why the Marines can convince young men to jump out of helicopters for minimum wage pay.
“Semper Fi” means “always faithful.”
It’s a call to be part of something bigger than yourself.
It’s a call placed there by God.
But something happened.
And it explains why guys take Gym selfies.
The Death of Self-Esteem
You know what I’m talking about.
You’re walking over to the rack of dumbbells to do some single arm rows so you don't get obese and die at 51 from a heart attack.
But as you’re about to muscle the weight off the rack, the guy to your left has his phone out, pointed directly at the mirror.
His triceps begin to flex, and you feel uncomfortable.
The gym selfie strikes again.
Why is this guy doing that?
“Because he’s a tool, Austin.”
Well, yes. But why is he a tool?
Now that’s a question.
The answer?
He’s trying to get back to Adam’s original call to greatness.
See, right after Adam sinned, he didn’t lose his drive to do big things, but he did lose the right motivation to do it.
Pre-fall, Adam worked the garden in response to God’s approval of Him. He worshipped God with his work.
But post-fall, Adam worked to cover the shame caused by no longer having a secure identity.
He saw his own sin and brokenness, and he judged himself as no longer valuable.
One of the worst effects of the fall is the loss of man’s God given self-esteem.
God made humans to receive their self-worth from Himself.
So after we left the garden without it, we do everything we can to prove we still have value.
This insecurity changes why we do what we do.
What used to be worship is now self-centered. Life's all about fixing our self-image.
It’s why men tried to construct the Tower of Babel. They wanted to make a name for themselves because they felt like they needed it. They had a hole they were trying to fill.
Men always pursue greatness; it’s how we’re wired. But why we do it has changed.
Hence the gym selfies.
It’s a cry deep in men that’s trying to show how valuable they are.
It’s men trying to make a name for themselves.
When the news came that my junior season was over, I didn't run to God to remember that before I’m anything else, I’m a son.
Instead, I went off to do calculus homework because if I couldn't make a name for myself in sports, I’d do it with grades and a career.
My calculus homework was my own little tower of Babel.
So, if we can't help but run after greatness, and we’re stuck this side of the fall, what are we to do?
The answer is simple.
Return to the garden
Reclaim Your Identity
Romans 8:16 says:
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
What does this mean?
It means we have access to how pre-fall Adam saw himself.
This is crazy.
It means that the Holy Spirit is actively assuring you of how God sees you.
Adam didn’t have that outside of the garden.
The guy taking gym selfies probably doesn't have that either.
But you do.
This means you can walk around all day completely aware of God’s approval of you, and completely unaware of your inadequacies, all because you see yourself from God’s point of view.
Your life can be marked by the word “son”.
This means you can get back to the business of fulfilling man’s original call.
To be a part of something great.
To bring God’s kingdom in response to who God is.
To be driven by love, not the need to prove yourself.
But this takes intention.
You will never believe this by accident.
So here are 3 practical things you can start today to raise your awareness of the Holy Spirit calling you a son:
1/ Meditate on the Cross:
The Holy Spirit is here to reveal Jesus (John 15:26).
So, one of the greatest ways to begin to hear what He’s saying is to spend time contemplating the cross.
Thinking about why Jesus died and what He suffered forces your mind to become aware of God's love.
Open up Matthew and read through the final hours of Jesus’s life and imagine what it was like.
This has been a cornerstone in my faith for the last 5 years.
I can't recommend this enough.
2/ Become a Student of the Gospel:
If the biblical truths about Jesus’s work are not constantly on your mind, you’ll forget.
Our default way of seeing the world needs to be through the gospel because it is the basis for our identity as a son.
Read Paul until you understand what it means to be in Christ.
Another great resource is Braveheart Ministries. They exist to simply help you know the gospel.
3/ Form a Habit of Listening:
If we spend 99% of our time distracted, we won't hear the Spirit’s voice.
You need to dedicate time to being silent and waiting on God.
There is simply no other option.
So, here’s a simple hack to make sure you don't miss a day.
It’s called an action trigger.
Step 1: Pick something you do every day (go to the gym, brush your teeth, make coffee).
Step 2: Whenever you do that thing, stop and take 5 minutes to be silent before God.
You are allowing the habit you already have to be a reminder of the new habit you are trying to form.
Start with 5 minutes and see what happens.
Take these 3 ideas and give them a shot.
God is ready to show you that you’re his son.
So stop taking gym selfies and start hearing the voice of God.
Your spiritual life depends on it.
Cheers, friends.